The Vicious Cycle of Victim Blaming

“The time is always right to do what is right.”

-Sir Martin Luther King Jr.

Victim blaming is one of the many vices of society that arises from the Just World Phenomenon, a false idea that the world is fair. This evil practice transpires when we attribute another’s plight to disposition rather than situation. It perpetuates a vicious cycle of holding the sufferer accountable for the crime rather than the culprit which ultimately destroys the common man’s expectations of empathy, faith in authority, and hope in humanity. Moreover, this action has become so routine that, very often, it is hard to even recognize let alone inhibit. We have all sinned for too long, however, that must stop.

Firstly, we must learn to replace sympathy with empathy. While it is impossible not to feel sorry for someone else, we must not strip an individual of their individuality. We must not let their problems define them. If we do so, we are reducing them to the status of their abuser. Rather than expressing pity, we must express understanding. We must reassure others of the validity of their feelings rather than making them insecure about the extremities of their emotions. Sympathy may show care but it may even reinforce feelings of worthlessness and helplessness. Empathy, on the other hand, ensures that the people around you do not feel misunderstood. While it pays heed to emotion-based coping, it also enables one to overcome grief and start working on themselves.

Secondly, it is imperative to analyze the situation before taking a stance and, subsequently, responding to it. It is a common misbelief that the only way to be of service to someone in need is to offer them advice and guidance. However, we must be educated on the different approaches to deal with a predicament. According to the humanistic approach, as proposed by Carl Rogers, one can be of most help by offering unconditional positive regard through active listening and words of encouragement. As stated in this approach, fostering an environment based on care and acceptance can empower an individual to explore themselves rather than fixate on their vulnerabilities. Increased self-awareness will then lead to self-actualization, the process of achieving one’s full potential. According to the cognitive approach, as proposed by Aaron Beck and Albert Ellis, the most effective way to cope with an obstacle is to precisely identify catastrophizing, self-defeating and irrational thoughts leading to problematic behavior. The reversal of such fallacies can be facilitated through confrontation, honesty, bluntness, and logicality. Lastly, we can also suggest different ways to act in order to mitigate a problem. Thus, handling an issue in a mature and appropriate manner is necessary to help the victim preserve their sense of identity and dignity.

Lastly, irrespective of the degree of an offense, a clear distinction should be made between the abused and abuser. The way in which an incident is presented, especially by the media and even through word of mouth, can influence the way in which it is interpreted. We must learn when to be passive and when to be assertive. The statement – “She was attacked.” – is different from the statement – “He attacked her.” If we lose sight of who committed the crime, we are bound to make an error in judging who should be held responsible for the crime. Further, we must also learn to distinguish relevant facts from irrelevant conspiracies. The statement – “She was wearing a black dress.” – is an easier explanation for the occurrence of the crime because it conforms with our prejudices but the statement – “He was taught to view women as objects and not equals.” – is difficult to accept because it raises a moral question on each member of the society. If we lose sight of why a crime was truly committed, we find ourselves with no real reason to oppose the culprit. Thus, we yet again fall prey to the vicious cycle of victim blaming.

In conclusion, we must learn to correctly identify the victim and the culprit. We must know how best to help a victim. We must be aware of our own biases and how they hinder our ability to do the aforementioned. We must acknowledge that our words matter. Practice empathy. Quit being passive. Break the cycle.